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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653216">No Promises</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewritermonkey/pseuds/spacewritermonkey'>spacewritermonkey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Promises [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warrior Nun (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Warrior Nun AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:08:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewritermonkey/pseuds/spacewritermonkey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Promises made. Promises kept?" Ava made it somehow. But what happens next? What happens now to the Warrior Nun? "You promised you’d be here. You said it, didn’t you? Stuck in bed alone again. That was my greatest fear. And you said I’d never be alone again. Then, you asked me to push past it. I did. I held up my end. What about yours?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Promises [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>165</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>“You do what’s best for Ava. Flight, not fight. It’s where your instincts lie.”</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Two weeks.</p><p>It’s been two weeks since Ava woke up, and Beatrice knows that they’re running out of time before someone from high up (like Duretti) insists that the Halo be taken out and transferred to a new halo bearer.</p><p>It’s been two weeks, but Ava didn’t seem to be getting any better.</p><p>And as far as the doctor’s initial prognosis went, he was off the mark by just a little.</p><p>The first time Ava woke up, Beatrice was by her bedside. It honestly pained Beatrice to be there, but she forced herself to stay. She made a promise to Ava and by God, she was keeping it.</p>
<hr/><p>Ava’s eyes fluttered open and soon after started choking on the ventilator. The sound of the monitor’s alarms began to go off, Ava’s head beginning to shake side by side, her neck arching in a way that tore at the nun knowing Ava couldn’t even fight the instrument properly.</p><p>Beatrice quickly pushed the alarm to call for assistance as she hovered over Ava, allowing the younger woman to see her as she carefully placed her hands against her cheeks, shushing her and trying to assure her not to fight it.</p><p>“I’m here, Ava. I’m here. You need to relax and stop fighting the vent. You need to relax….” Ava’s eyes began to leak tears and Beatrice belatedly realized that so was hers. “…breathe through it, and breathe with me, Ava. You’re o—here. You’re here and so am I and I’m not going anywhere.” She couldn’t even give her a platitude. She won’t lie. She doesn’t think she can either way.</p><p>Slowly, the beeping sounds began to slow down, and Ava’s eyes continued to hold onto the nun’s as the latter continued to try and match her breath for breath.</p><p>A few more moments later, a pair of nurses showed up along with Ava’s attending physician.</p><p>Beatrice was forced to step aside by the doctor, causing Ava’s eyes to widen in obvious panic. Beatrice instinctively elbowed the doctor aside as she leaned down to assure the Halo Bearer. “I’m right here, Ava. I’m not going anywhere okay. The doctor just needs to check so we can figure out how to help you. Maybe get the tube out? You want that, right?”</p><p>Beatrice knew that it wouldn’t be long until Ava realizes what’s wrong. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if Ava already has an idea based on the fear in her eyes. Ava tries to nod but a few more tears slip down her face instead.</p><p>Unable to help herself, Beatrice leans her forehead against Ava’s, her eyes closing as her own tears fall and drop upon Ava’s eyes and cheeks. “Whatever happens, I’m right here. I promised you that before and that promise will always hold, Ava.”</p><p>“Sister Beatrice…” A voice disrupts them and finally, Beatrice pulls away. She quickly assesses the room to find the most logical spot where Ava might get a glimpse of her—limited as she might be—while still allowing the medical staff room to work with. All to ensure that Ava knows she’s still there.</p><p>“Ava? I’m Dr. Paddington.”</p><p>Beatrice gets a glimpse of the look on Ava’s face when she hears the doctor introduce himself and feels her breath hitch when a familiar teasing glint briefly makes itself known in Ava’s eyes, alongside a small upturn of one corner of her mouth which the doctor seems to understand.</p><p>“Yes. Like the bear, I’m afraid.”</p><p>Ava emits a soft and pained grunt and the doctor turns towards his staff and gives them a brief nod as they begin to work around prepping their patient. “Listen. I know you must be eager to get this tube out, but it’s currently what’s helping you breathe. You’ve been in quite a traumatic accident. Do you remember? You can blink once for yes, and twice for no.”</p><p>Ava stared at him without blinking for a beat before exaggerating one blink.</p><p>Despite himself, the doctor chuckles at Ava.</p><p>“Okay. So, here’s what we’re going to do…”</p><p>~+~</p><p>Lilith was the first to arrive; her arrival in the form of a brief shift of reality seemingly tearing itself like fabric, right in front of Beatrice.</p><p>Though puzzled and impressed, all Beatrice could offer was a grim “Cool trick.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Even Lilith seemed scared to ask, but Beatrice could see it was on the tip of her tongue.</p><p>Regardless, the taller nun didn’t get a chance to voice out the question as Camila beats her to it, arriving in a flurry with Mary in tow. “Bea! Oh God, we got your message and we drove back home as quickly as we can.”</p><p>“Yeah. Someone couldn’t even wait for the car to properly park.” Mary threw a glare Lilith’s way, but everyone knew the threat was empty.</p><p>They were all running on fumes of pretense. And the silence pervaded their moment as they all stood awkwardly in the middle of the hallway outside the infirmary.</p><p>It was eventually Mary who broke the silence.</p><p>“How is she?”</p><p>In that millisecond after hearing the question, Beatrice realized she can no longer hold back the rest of the tears she had tried to keep Ava from seeing. She buries her face in her hands as she begins to sob. A sight not unlike that fateful night when they thought Ava was lost to them.</p><p>Camila gasps and brings up a hand to her mouth, too late to tamp down the sound that betrayed her fear and sadness.</p><p>“Beatrice…” Llilith places a careful hand on Beatrice’s shoulder, unsure what else to do or say for someone who hurt on behalf of their fallen friend—when <em>they</em> were all hurting.</p><p>Somehow gathering what strength she inherently had, Beatrice quickly sought to wipe away her tears and straightened up, a glimmer of her resolve making a comeback before she broke the news.</p><p>“She can breathe on her own, thank God. But it’s just as we feared.” Beatrice takes a moment to take a deep breath before chokingly continuing, “She still can’t feel anything below her neck.”</p>
<hr/><p>The first few days after waking up, Ava had still been relatively upbeat. She had exchanged pleasantries and barbs with Lilith, even still had her favorite puns to deliver. They could even begin to appreciate Dr. Paddington’s careful honesty in letting Ava know everything—something they had all nearly fought over as to when and how to tell Ava about her condition. Thankfully, this new doctor who had replaced the last one seemed to haven’t gotten cynical and jaded just yet. He spoke of more tests in order to monitor Ava’s progress, hoping that the Halo would be able to do its job and heal Ava completely.</p><p>But when nearly a week had gone by, the toll of “waiting” was beginning to make itself known. Maybe it was just her, but before the incident and everything that led up to it, Beatrice could have sworn that she used to bring a smile to Ava’s face. Now, it seemed as if being in the same room together pained the younger woman. She no longer laughed as loud. When Beatrice took Ava’s hand in hers to tell her to “hang on” hoping some of their stupid puns would bring a glimpse of the Ava she once knew…there was nothing.</p><p>
  <em>“Ava? If you could just hang on as tight as I’m holding on to you right now—” Ava cuts her off while her dull gaze is directed at the window.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hard to hold on to something that I literally can’t, Beatrice.”</em>
</p><p>The hollow ring of Ava’s words hurt. Still does in fact. But Beatrice knows she can’t hold that against Ava. Not when she’s going through all of this.</p><p>It most certainly didn’t help when they found themselves occasionally out in the field on missions. Beatrice promised to be there for Ava and yet how could she when every time she sought to spend time with Ava it seemed hell kept breaking loose. So much so that they began to wonder if “evil” could sense that the Halo was essentially out of commission.</p>
<hr/><p>Beatrice feels like Ava’s slipping away. Again.</p><p>Here they are two weeks later with Beatrice trying to see Ava. Again.</p><p>The nun begins to feel her hands clenching into fists and forces herself to pull them back to clasp behind her. Something she trained herself to do in order to lessen visible signs of fidgeting.</p><p>Beatrice picks up her pace, walking just a little bit quicker in hopes of catching Ava having a good day today. Though to be honest, even Beatrice is beginning to lose hope of ever crossing the threshold of Ava’s room and seeing the smile that used to greet her.</p><p>The toll of Ava’s condition and lack of progress wasn’t limited to just the Halo Bearer. It was beginning to take its toll on everyone. At first it was just trying to get Duretti to give them time. Time to let the halo work and heal Ava completely. Every day and every night, they prayed. Mary would never speak of it, but each night, they know that Mary stopped by the church to light a candle and pray.</p><p>However, time hadn’t been kind and soon enough, even Mother Superion was forced to speak up.</p><p>And no, it wasn’t a pretty memory to look back on when Beatrice recalls how badly her behavior had been that afternoon in Mother Superion’s office when the older woman said they needed a new halo bearer.</p><p>“A fully functioning one,” a fellow nun had commented once, barely out of their earshot. Thankfully, Camila took care of the tactless woman.</p><p>Beatrice knew they were running out of time. Everyone did, which is essentially the news that Mother Superion delivered to them that day. A new halo bearer successor has been chosen, and if Ava didn’t show any signs of improvement, the halo will need to be taken out. And Beatrice can’t let that happen. She’s not sure what she’s doing nor does she have any plans of what to do ever since they were given a deadline.</p><p>All she knows is she needs to see Ava and talk to her. She can’t give up. They can’t. And maybe if they could see that Ava was still in there—still in this battle to fight just a little bit more and just a little bit longer—they might bump up the deadline.</p><p>As Beatrice nears the door to Ava’s room, she thinks she hears laughter and freezes. How long has it been since she heard Ava laugh? Granted, it wasn’t as careless and as happy as before, but at this point, Beatrice would take even the smallest of Ava’s smiles.</p><p>She raps her knuckles quickly and firmly against the wood of the door before opening it and walking through to the sight of Ava seated in her wheelchair, as another woman carefully leans forward, dabbing a cloth against Ava’s lips: Ava’s smiling lips.</p><p>A smile directed at the woman in front of her.</p><p>A smile Beatrice had sorely missed.</p><p>“Ava,” Beatrice can’t help how her voice has turned the younger woman’s name into a breathless invocation.</p><p>“Hello, Sister Beatrice.”</p><p>The voice of the strange woman suddenly makes itself known, blocking Beatrice’s view.</p><p>“Hi.” The confusion in her voice must have been obvious, as Ava suddenly speaks.</p><p>“Beatrice, meet Reese. She’s been tasked the glorious honor of being my ass wiper.”</p><p>“Language!” <em>Reeese</em> turns swiftly to admonish Ava, but Beatrice is quick to notice that her one-word reprimand is accompanied by a teasing smile. A smile that Ava returns.</p><p>“Sister…Reese?” Beatrice can’t help but clarify.</p><p>As Ava liked to note, Beatrice has near-perfect recall. She’s yet to meet this stranger until now, and she certainly hadn’t come across any name like “Reese” across her files. And Beatrice is the type who likes to be aware and informed.</p><p>Before she could pull out a dagger and pry the information out of said woman, “It’s not really Reese. Ava called my name boring and prone to being murdered in my sleep and decided to take it upon herself to give me a nickname instead. Despite her colorful language, I have been assigned to see to Ava’s needs.”</p><p>“And your <em>real</em> name is…?” Beatrice finds herself glossing over the woman’s assignment, focused on the degree of familiarity she’s observed instead.</p><p>“I’m Sister Teresa.”</p><p>“See? I told you! Doesn’t that make you wanna kill her while she’s asleep, Bea?” Ava’s voice pipes up.</p><p>Despite her confusion, Beatrice finds herself automatically rolling her eyes in fond exasperation. “No. No it does not, Ava.” She turns to Reese and apologizes on Ava’s behalf, which the other woman shrugs off with a laugh.</p><p>“It’s no problem. Honestly, I kind of like it. It’s a cool name actually. Anyway, I’ll leave you two to it if you guys need to catch up?”</p><p>Beatrice nods gratefully as Sister Reese turns back toward Ava.</p><p>“I’ll help you back to bed later?”</p><p>Ava nods with a smile.</p><p>Perhaps Sister Reese only meant to do it as a sign of comfort or whatnot, but all of a sudden, a heavy weight tugged at Beatrice’s chest at the sight of the strange woman reaching out to brush a thumb across Ava’s cheek as she said goodbye.</p><p>~+~</p><p>“What was that?” Beatrice found herself asking before the door had even fully closed.</p><p>Due to her medical situation, Ava had been set up with her own room in the infirmary floor. The infirmary was originally set up as a ward, having considered that any other medical situations they can’t handle in-house would require admission to a hospital. However, with a precious artifact embedded in Ava’s back, staying for an indefinite amount of time in the hospital was too great a risk. So, what was previously set up as one of the doctors’ office in the infirmary was converted into Ava’s.</p><p>Stone walls and a wooden door suddenly seemed like feeble material  as the temperature in the room dropped considerably when Ava’s expression suddenly dropped and closed off in response to Beatrice’s tone.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Beatrice closed the distance between her and Ava, taking a seat on the armchair in front of the younger woman, hoping to see Ava’s eyes and somehow find whatever it is she’s been looking for the moment she woke up.</p><p>“What was that?” Beatrice’s hand flicked towards the door.</p><p>“I’m sorry. But unfortunately, I am unable to quite see what it was you were trying to show me.” The snark on Ava’s voice was evident.</p><p>“Her touching you!” Beatrice finally exclaims.</p><p>“Oh, so what, not only am I fucking broken, I’m hideous too? Is that what you’re saying?” Ava snaps.</p><p>“No! Of course not! That’s…that is <em>not</em> what I…that’s…” Beatrice can’t quite put it into words. In fact, she’s not sure if she totally understands what she’s feeling. Is she jealous? Perhaps. But of what? She's still a nun for crying out loud. She has her vows. She hasn’t even been able to tell Ava…</p><p>“Reese has been…she’s been awesome, okay? She literally has to wipe my ass but she’s…”</p><p>“She’s what?” Beatrice is afraid to ask, but she persists.</p><p>“She’s right here. She’s here and she doesn’t look at me like I’m broken.”</p><p>“You are FAR from broken, Ava—”</p><p>“—I am! And stop telling me otherwise when you don’t know anything because you’re never here.”</p><p>Beatrice stands up immediately, her hands clenched into fists once more. “Never here? Never here, Ava?? You won’t even talk to me! You won’t even look at me. And don’t you joke about how limited your perception is because even when I put myself right in your line of sight—you’re the one who’s not HERE!”</p><p>“How can I? You promised you’d be here. You said it didn’t you? Stuck in bed alone again. That was my greatest fear. And you said I’d never be alone again. Then, you asked me to push past it. I did. I held up my end. What about yours?”</p><p>“You know very well that we’ve been sent to various missions, Ava. We didn’t choose to leave. <em>I</em> didn’t choose to leave.” Beatrice’s voice lost its heat, and in its place, a plea.</p><p>“That’s another thing though, isn’t it?” Ava’s tone has turned bitter. The look in her eyes, turning dull and grey once more.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The mission. The point of all of this. Of me. Except there’s not much for ME to work with, is there?”</p><p>Beatrice shakes her head, but Ava continues, unmindful of the pain beginning to build in the young nun’s eyes. Beatrice is afraid of where this conversation will lead them.</p><p>“This is me now, Beatrice. This is what’s left of me.” Ava’s voice is monotonous and honestly, that hurts Beatrice more than the weight of Ava’s next words. “The Halo is useless within me, Beatrice.” Ava’s next words are whispered and yet they ring louder than everything else in that moment. “Take it out.”</p><p>Beatrice shakes her head, “You just need more time, Ava—”</p><p>Ava shakes her head furiously—or tries to—and the frustration in her attempt is more evident than ever as she begins to cry, shedding tears she swore she wouldn’t let anyone else to see.</p><p>“I can’t, Bea. I can’t begin to even live on this hope you think still exists. It’s over. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”</p><p>Ava didn’t even realize she had been sobbing until Beatrice was right there, kneeling in front of her, faces inches away from the other as the nun furiously tried to stem the flood of tears.</p><p>“Ava, sshhh. You have nothing to apologize for…”</p><p>Her words seem to only cause Ava to sob even harder, trying to put into words her emotions, her remorse, “I promised I would be the last Warrior Nun, so that no one else would need to sacrifice their life for this war.”</p><p>Ava looks her straight in the eye, her pain more evident than ever, “Tell me, Beatrice. You’re next in line, aren’t you?”</p><p>
  <em>“Sister Lilith was next in line. But given the circumstances of her current condition,” the words hang in the air, Lilith’s sudden powers unspoken, “it has been decided that you, Sister Beatrice, will be the Halo Bearer’s successor.”</em>
</p><p>“They need a halo bearer. And I’m not that person anymore.” Ava whispered brokenly. “I don’t think I ever was.”</p><p>Each thumb carefully strokes against Ava’s face, one unconsciously trying to wipe away the trace and memory of someone else’s careful caress of this woman she thought she’d have more time to love and be with.</p><p> “Ava, you <em>are</em> the halo bearer. You have been from the moment the halo chose you.”</p><p>“The halo changed its mind. It’s not working.”</p><p>“We just need to give it time.”</p><p>“There ISN’T time. You think I don’t know? I can still hear, Beatrice. And I’ve heard people talk about how there’s been more possessions than ever. I’ve heard more patients come through this infirmary than is normal. You need a halo bearer. A fully functioning one.”</p><p>The last few words make the hair rise from the back of her neck.</p><p>“Take the halo, Beatrice.”</p><p>“No!” Beatrice shakes her head as she stands back up and begins to pace.</p><p>“I’m bringing your medical file to a contact of mine. They can provide a second opinion. A third, if need be.”</p><p>“Aren’t we supposed to uphold the mission? You guys are running out of time—”</p><p>“Fuck the mission!”</p><p>The profanity startles Ava more than the suddenly upended rolling table that was now lying on its side, its contents scattered all over the floor.</p><p>Silence pervades the room.</p><p>“You don’t mean that.” Ava’s voice whispers, as if hesitant to break the careful calm they’ve achieved for the moment.</p><p>“Don’t tell me what I do and do not mean.” Beatrice retorts, breathing heavily, mind still awash in anger and desperation.</p><p>“Like I said. You’re running out of time. And I’ve ran out of mine.”</p><p>“Why are you so adamant about giving up?!”</p><p>“Why are you so stubborn about letting me go!?” Ava shoots back.</p><p>“Because I CAN’T LOSE YOU, Ava!” Ava stares at Beatrice with wide eyes. Not out of horror or shock, but…in dawning realization.</p><p>Beatrice ends up on her knees once more in front of Ava, her hands taking hold of the other woman’s, bringing it up to Ava’s line of sight so she can see as Beatrice brushes her lips against the back of one hand. “I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t. A miracle brought you back, Ava. That HAS to count for something, doesn’t it? A miracle will save you again.”</p><p>“You and I both know what’s at stake.”</p><p>“Could you stop caring about the world for a minute and think about yourself, Ava?” The heat in Beatrice's words are unmistakable.</p><p>Ava actually chuckles. “That’s new. A couple of months ago and you’d have said differently.”</p><p>“Is it not obvious, Ava? Why I can’t let you go?”</p><p>“Isn’t it obvious, Bea? I’ll always care more about the world that has you in it. In <em>this</em> life. <em>This</em> world. I'll choose to save it.”</p><p>“I want to save you.” Beatrice whispers brokenly, tears running down her face, and laying her head upon Ava’s lap.</p><p>It’s as if minutes have gone by in silence, only broken every so often by the sob coming from the strongest woman Ava has ever known.</p><p>~+~</p><p>How fitting, Ava thinks. She finds her purpose and now must give it up. She finds out that maybe her feelings weren’t entirely imagined and unrequited, but now must leave all that behind. Just like everything in her life thus far. <em>God giveth, God taketh away.</em></p><p>She couldn’t even feel the touch of Beatrice’s lip against her skin. Can’t even provide comfort given how she’s immobilized in this forsaken chair, in this forsaken vessel of a body.</p><p>How timely to realize that perhaps she’s found the love she’s always wanted to find, only to have to leave it all behind.</p><p>“Beatrice?” Ava’s voice is raspy, as if she’s barely used it. Or maybe it because she’s used it after being quiet for an unusual amount of time.</p><p>“Yes?” Beatrice’s voice sounds muffled.</p><p>Ava wishes she can remember everything in perfect clarity at this moment. She wishes she could feel so much more so she can remember what it’s like to hold Beatrice in her arms. Something more than what they almost had back during that first moment at ARQ Tech.</p><p>Beatrice pulls her head back up to level with Ava’s, each carefully observing the other. Ava trying to commit the nun’s face and every feature to memory, even the red rimmed and swollen eyes from tears, the flush in her cheeks, the tear tracks that have yet to full dry. All of it.</p><p>“Please let me go.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Sunday morning.</p><p>With clear blue skies and the sun happily shining down upon them, Beatrice felt like the world was mocking them.</p><p>Today’s the day she’ll have to say goodbye. Behind her, Mary, Lilith, and Camila are slow to move. Up until last night, they had debated taking Ava with them and running away.</p><p>But to where? Until when? And how, given Ava’s condition?</p><p>As they make their way to the infirmary, Beatrice can’t help but think that they might as well be heading for an execution.</p><p>Ava deserved so much better. So, so much better than this life had dared to offer her.</p><p>All of a sudden, they’re in Ava’s room and Beatrice couldn’t even for the life of her tell anyone what happened in between the time they’ve been walking towards the infirmary and suddenly just showing up in the very space.</p><p>Unfortunately, any chance Beatrice hoped for to have some time alone with Ava became moot as Mother Superion was already present.</p><p>“Sister Beatrice. You should be preparing.” <em>To receive the halo</em>, another thing left unspoken.</p><p>“I know…I…we were just hoping to have a word with Ava.”</p><p>Thankfully, the older woman took one look at the four of them and nodded.</p><p>As soon as they were all alone, Camila ran up to Ava and wrapped her arms around her, sobbing. Lilith stood right by Ava’s bedside, a hand coming to rest upon her shoulder. Mary took to the other side, gently tousling the hair of their officially youngest member.</p><p>“All you have to do is say the word and we’ll bust you out of here.” Mary’s words are firm. Ava knows that if she dares to even say yes, Mary will pick her up herself if she has to in order to run away.</p><p>Ava closes her eyes briefly before opening them back up to thank Mary, but “No thanks.”</p><p>“This is so unfair.” Camila is still sobbing.</p><p>“Such has been the theme of my life, Cam. I’ve come to terms with it.” Ava says with such certainty it hurts all four other women in her stead.</p><p>“Can you promise me something?”</p><p>“What is it?” Lilith is the one to ask, and Ava thinks maybe rightly so.</p><p>“Look after Beatrice okay? I know she’s a badass. But even the most badass of women need people she can trust.”</p><p>“You know we will.” Lilith says with conviction. And had Ava been able to feel it, she’d have noticed how Lilith’s grip on her shoulder tightened just a little bit harder before she turned away to hide her tears.</p><p>All her life she’d been taught everything about Halo Bearers. Even about the pain of losing them to battle. Sadly, no one prepared Lilith for this kind of goodbye.</p><p>Mary is trying to hold back her own emotions, but one then two tears escaped anyway.</p><p>“I’m sorry I nearly hated you.” The confession rocks all of them, but least of all was Ava who has had an idea.</p><p>“I’m sorry the halo couldn’t save Shannon like it did me.” The realization dawns on Beatrice, Lilith, and Camila.</p><p>Mary shakes her head, “No! No apologies. If anything…I wish I had more faith like Beatrice had to hang onto you like she did. What’s done is done. I’m just…I’m sorry I took my anger out on the least person to deserve it.”</p><p>“Like you said. It’s done. You don’t need to apologize. Had our roles been somehow switched…” Ava’s eyes make their way unerringly towards Beatrice. “…I might have done worse.”</p><p>“Ava…” Camila began to cry harder.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, Cam. Do me a favor and just continue to kick some wraith butt for me, eh? Shoot and spit and give em hell.” Camila simply burrows her face against Ava’s neck and mumbles “Promise” before finally letting go.</p><p>And then, it was Beatrice who is leaning over her bed once more, closing her eyes as she leans her forehead against Ava’s.</p><p>“In the next life, Ava. We’ll get it right in the next life.” Beatrice whispers so softly, her lips mere millimeters from Ava, her breathe upon her lips something Ava can thankfully feel. Something to remember her by.</p><p>“In the next life. Just…don’t hurry okay? Take your time. Kick Adriel back to hell and then live. I want you to live, Bea. Live like you’ve never done before.”</p><p>
  <em>Live for the both of us.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The first thing she notes is that it’s too bright.</p><p>Her back hurts and stings, and she wonders if the pain will fade in due time.</p><p>Slowly opening her eyes until it can adjust to the source of light, which she now realizes are fluorescent ones, she takes careful stock of her surroundings.</p><p>Until the sound of someone gasping catches her attention and her eyes latch on to those of a nun, staring at her like she’d seen a ghost.</p><p>And reality hits Ava once more like a sledgehammer.</p><p>She’s alive.</p><p>She’s <em>still</em> alive.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>“There’s not enough time to get back up and out of here.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Then we blow ourselves an exit if we have to. We can still salvage this. Trust me.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“I do. In this life or the next?”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>"In this life or the next."</em>
  </p>
</blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sometimes, when life hands you lemons, make apple juice just to screw with life.<br/>Is this a one shot? Yes. Yes, it is unfortunately.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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